I refused to take any interest in make-up, wore baggy clothes, and a “don’t care” attitude. I labelled myself as “weird,” adventurous,” and “blunt,” all in an attempt to create some sort of identity for myself.

When I finally realized the labels I’ve claimed for most of my life didn’t apply to me anymore, I didn’t know how to disassociate myself from that girl who felt disgusted by dresses and bad-mouthed classmates who wore make-up in middle school (sorry Carly). …

There’s no singular way to tell the story of “Life After University” because there are always multiple sub-stories. Depending on what I choose to write about, one aspect, like the constant moving, can turn into the main point of the diaries. But if I’m honest, it’s so much more than that.

Part One: https://medium.com/@kmelyng/life-after-university-diaries-321539fdb70d

I might have failed to mention on the last night of the LA business trip, my bosses decided to call a meeting at 11pm. Exhausted, I rolled off the bed and sat up. After back and forth chit-chat about our thoughts on the week, our bosses…

About: This is first of however many “Life After University” diaries I decide to make. I want to document what it’s like to be a young person navigating the world around them. Through loneliness, running, and creating, I want to rediscover my childhood dreams and understand what it means to “be” with so many paths to choose from. In this article, I discuss my job-hunting process, moving to a different city, and work.

The Hunt:

I always imagined myself unemployed or stuck with some part-time job after the first few months, or year, after I graduated from University. It’s not because I…

Tears, Loneliness, & Maximum Optimization.

Yes, it’s true. It’s an open office equipped with a gym, a basketball court, free dinners, and snacks. You can count the number of people in the company with your hands, and the founder sits right beside me. Everyone rides their bikes to work, and I read a new book every two weeks… at least that’s the current plan (you never really know).

Yes, everything you heard about the start-up world is true. Except for the beanbag chairs. I haven’t unlocked that level yet. …

2016.

It was the summer after my first year at University, and I had secured my first waitressing job at a private yacht club in Toronto. It was a 2.5-hour commute each way that involved a bus, a train, a streetcar, a little walk, and a private ferry. The first day I was given a few instructions before I was thrown in the waters. Nervously, I served my first customer; it was quite awkward, but the challenge excited me. Fast-forward 4 months, 12-hour shifts and cranky customers, waitressing became the hardest and most rewarding job I’ve ever had. …

Last semester, September to December for those who aren’t in college, I wasn’t feeling well. There was the binging, the purging, the isolating, and the weekly crying sessions. I couldn’t connect to reality and despite trying to “refresh,” I was stuck in a blur.

I talk more about these ‘feelings’ here:

I tried:

• Talking to friends (thank you for listening)
• Talking to an online bot (sometimes I just need someone or thing to listen)
• Journaling / Writing
• Taking showers
• Staring at the walls
• Sleeping
• Attending a Food Addiction Anonymous Meeting (maybe I’ll write about this another time)
• Distracting myself with food, television…

It’s New Year’s Eve and people gather with strangers, friends, and family, anticipating whatever the new year brings, hope.

(and a January gym rush filled with newbies, poor form, and a line-up at my favorite machine).

Hope for fresh starts, new beginnings, and something like a dream. New years is magical, whether you are clinking glasses, below crackling fireworks, cheering loudly, or snoring away; as the hand approaches 12, everyone is given another chance…

…to break resolutions and the excuse to drink till you’re babbling to your ex.
New years resolutions get a bad rep for not sticking.

The month…