Why No Amount of “Body Positivity” Will Make Me Love My Body

This is a story I’ve been struggling to tell, it’s something I have kept hidden for years before admitting to myself, and then those close to me. It’s a story that’s been told by many people, a fight that’s been fought, lost, and won; it’s a story about the struggle against one’s own flesh.

I did not think about the space I occupied until I was ten… or even younger now that I think about it. Until that point, I wasn’t truly aware of my body and it’s place in the world. I was relatively normal for my size, not falling into the…